Sucking is OK (Just Ask James Blunt…)

Seeing Ryan Adams play tonight has put a lot of my recent thought in context. I guess I should start by saying the show was great. I’ve seen him 6 times now and the time before this was the worst and soured me on him for a while. That time he basically played for twenty minutes and was complaining about the sound and started the set over and played for another 25 minutes or so then stormed off the stage. It was in Portland, Maine so we drove two hours to watch him perform for less than an hour…Cool.

Anyways, that’s not the point of this entry. He was great tonight. He played for more than two-and-a-half hours. He was good-natured and the band played well. He has a tendency to get wank-ish and play a ton of jams but tonight was pretty well reeled in and he played a good selection of songs…But that’s not the point of this entry either.

I’ve been trying to articulate the lessons I learned from Mark Baxter’s singing lessons over the last week and I think tonight was the closest I’ve gotten so far.

1. I have a tendency (as all performers do) to get self-conscious about performing. Baxter explained that our mind concentrates on singing the notes well and is very conscious about the fact that as a performer, we try our best not to suck. This pre-occupation with trying not to suck prevents the message of the song and the personality of the singer from really getting through or if it does it’s more diluted because the mind can’t devote its full attention to the task.. It is, as he puts it, “When the singing becomes invisible” that the real personality of the singer comes through and a listener can really connect with it.

Ryan Adams is definitely not afraid of sucking. That being said, he doesn’t WANT to suck (though Ryan Adams fans may think sometimes that he WANTS to suck…you have to know about his history to understand that) but he has the self-assuredness to go for it, even if his voice whines or he hisses or hits his falsetto poorly. All these deficiencies, I’m staring to learn, are meaningless because in the end, he is very connected to his music and is able to make the listener know exactly where he is coming from and can show them for lack of a better expression, his soul. That absence of nerves about sucking is precisely what is able to make him seem relatable and attractive to the listener.

**At this point, I must say with full disclosure that I think I’m thinking clearly but my articulation might not be perfect because I’m winding down the night with a glass of whiskey and I can all ready feel my mind starting to wander away**

So point 1 is learning to separate myself from stressing about sucking. Basically, just go for it. I was trying that at Faneuil Hall today. Overriding my brain is a difficult thing because I know the problematic points in every song so I’m trying to sing them and just let them happen. It’s an uphill battle to say the least.

1. Another similar point that I’ve been thinking about is taking risks as a performer or an artist. M. Baxter related it to a circus performer walking the tightrope. Standing twenty feet above the ground, a composed tightrope walker is impressive but one with a safety net is not really taking a chance (it’s like he’s practicing) and one who is visibly nervous makes the viewer uncomfortable. It’s the performer who can walk the tightrope with a straight face, aware of the risk but seemingly oblivious to potential repercussions that is particularly attractive to a viewer. The parallel to myself as a songwriter is one that I’ve recently come to challenge. The songs I’ve written during the last few years are relatively safe and only with a few of the new tracks on the album do I really take some risks, but they’re rewarding ones. In songs you shall hear, I’m really stretching outside of my comfort zone. “Hanging Around” and “I Promise You Relief” have those areas in particular. The closest thing I can equate it to that I’ve released is the chorus in my song “Tell My Story”, which when I recorded it, was the most challenging singing part in my repertoire. Now I can sing it without trouble and I look forward to the day when I can do the same with the other songs listed above.

Ryan Adams is quite a risk taker. Like I said before, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but as a listener, I respect the hell out of him for the attempts that he makes. His melodies are stretched beyond what he lays down on an album and I marvel (as I’m sure most others in attendance did) at the strength of his voice 

So yea, stretch myself out of my comfort zone and things will catch up. I’m learning how to do that.

There’s other things I want to address but I don’t know if my attention span will allow me. Also, this blog is about 1000 words, which is kind of long and if you’ve made it even this far, I admire you.

I’m trying to learn how to better have my personality come across as a performer as well as the personality of the band.

Maybe I’ll forget.

OK. Now I’m done.

I’m back to recording a week from today (which is now Monday). I have to figure all this stuff out because I don’t think this album deserves anything less.

Also, that cheap shot in the title is understood by anyone who knows me that knows that I really don’t like James Blunt.

That’s it.

That was long.

That’s what she said.