September 21
Who I’m Not.
I’ve done a lot of driving this week. I drove to Vermont on Thursday (see Thursday’s blog) to play a gig and I saw my brother perform last night in Providence (he was good by the way, though nerves got the best of him once and a while, which is a surprise for such a cock-sure kid). I’ve gotten to listen a lot of music on my iPod that I hadn’t connected with in a while. Sometimes, I listen to music and I become blissfully happy (like most of the trip to Vermont) when I’m taken by the sheer marvel of it. Other times, I listen to music and it bums me out because I feel pangs of doubt as to whether my artistic output will ever reach that kind of quality. Last night I was listening to Whiskeytown’s Stranger’s Almanac and I had 4 or 5 moments of, “Damn, I could never think of that,” and it’s a bummer. Of course, during those times I begin to question every lyric of every song I have ever written and I came to doubt the album that I am investing so much of my time and money in right now. Lately, however, I’ve been able to bust out of it quicker than I would have about a year ago.
I realize that I’m not Ryan Adams. I’m not Jeff Tweedy or Josh Ritter or Matt Nathanson or any of those songwriters that I most admire. I may have tinges of any or all of them but I couldn’t create anything like they have. I can’t force how creativity and the art of song writing manifests itself in my life. I’ve never tried to sound like anyone (consciously at least) but I’ve always thought it would be cool to tell stories like those I listed above and others but I have to learn how to refine the talent I do have to best write like I’m capable of writing. I suppose that’s why music keeps going and that’s why 1000000000000000 x 10^25 guys play guitar and write songs because no two people do it exactly the same way (we’re like snowflakes…awww!) but I guess it’s what provides the challenge anyways.
And that’s why music’s great.
Back to recording tomorrow. Huzzah!